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How To Build Unshakeable Self Confidence and Winning Self Esteem
Confidence is a sureness about your abilities and the expectation that those abilities will lead you to a positive outcome.
If you’re like most people, your self confidence could use a boost from time to time. It ‘s in those moments when our self confidence and self esteem is at a low that we need some quick and easy strategies to boost our sagging spirits.
Here are a few quick and easy tips to build up your self confidence and boost your self esteem:
- Stand Tall: At the most basic level of day to day life, confidence manifests itself in our body language, demeanor and environment. You can see it in the guy who approaches you with a glint in his eye, or the team that takes to the field. Ever watch Tiger Woods on the golf course or Michael Jordan with the basketball? You can see the confidence in their eyes.
You body language and attitudes send the same signals not only to the world around you but to yourself. Stand up tall, raise your shoulders up and chest back like there’s a wire attached to your sternum. Winners don’t slouch on the court nor in their day to day life. In this way you are creating the same posture and sending the same signals with your body to your mind.
Try it right now. Breathe in deeply 10 times, as you hold you shoulders up and chest out. Exhale slowly, keeping the same posture. Feel the self confidence wash through your body with each breath. Send a signal to your body and to your mind with this first tip.
The same goes for your external environment. As the saying goes "the clothes makes the man". Don’t underestimate the impact nice clothing and proper grooming can have on you. Think how good you feel after just trip to the hair stylist. Dressing for success is critical to cultivating self confidence and self esteem. How you dress and how you keep yourself is an indication of how you feel about yourself. Make a statement about how you feel. It builds self confidence and improves the self esteem.
- Practice Makes Perfect: Self-talk and keeping the inner voice in your head positive is one step, but you have to be able to back up those words. It’s not good enough to say “it’s going great”, or “I’m great”. Good athletes put in a lot of preparation. They think about everything that may go wrong so they can shift or adapt if needed. This is a core component of military basic training that often is noted after the recruits graduate – they have the confidence that they can handle themselves because they trained – they’re prepared. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan and the great athletes have already played the game even before the step out to play the game. They project and envision the outcome.
Projecting success is part of the adage: “Act the part to be the part”. If you are having trouble finding the self confidence in one area, pull from your experience and draw on your success from another area. For example, you may be good cook, but maybe not great at housekeeping. If you can assess and access what makes you good in one area, you can use those traits in another area you have less confidence in. And like the areas you are good at, practice makes perfect, and preparing for success follows the same format.
- Avoid Negative People and Events: Surround yourself with people who support you and see you at your best, and provide you with positive feedback. Negative people drag you down. Avoid individuals who suck your energy and diminish your self confidence with their negative points of view and outlook. This may require you to curtail contact with some people who you may consider friends, but are they really friends if they are running you down or criticizing your efforts?
At the office, stay away from grip sessions and “negative Nellys”. Don’t just complain about something. If you have a problem, be proactive and come up with a solution. Confident people feel in control and make things happen. Whiners sit on the sidelines and...well, whine. Be part of the solution, not the problem.
- Get Back on the Horse: The best defense is a good offence. The one winning behavior that is the hallmark of building confidence is the willingness to get back into the game after a setback. When you suffer a loss take the time to ask and understand what happened and get the help you need to move forward if necessary. Panic can reinforce the fear that coincided with the setback so don’t let panic compound small misstep and cloud your thinking. Avoid overreacting and let emotion slip in. Knowing when to slip away and clear your head is huge to getting yourself back in the game.
- Keep It Real: Recognition and praise can go a long way. The recognition itself doesn’t need to be a big deal, but it needs to be genuine. Look at what you – and others – do well and recognize it. If you want to reinforce positive behavior, state exactly what you are happy about or that of someone else – and why. This is the cornerstone to what makes great organizations and bosses versus poor companies and low employee moral. Recognition is like feedback – it’s the breakfast of champions.
Express what you like and admire in yourself or a loved one. We often neglect to appreciate what we love and admire in a loved one and in ourselves. Don’t take yourself, a loved one or an employee for granted.
- Hang In There Baby: Winning is not so much about luck but persistence and not giving up when your goal appears in doubt. It’s often in those moments that the desired results are their closest. If you can believe in yourself and you know you can back that up, even when things are against you, that’s confidence. You have to keep going even when others may have written you off and gone home. The hallmark of winners is their persistence and their ability to never give up.
Certainly there will be moments and situations that may go against you, and this is when your confidence must be tempered by realism. If you believe in yourself too strongly that you act irrationally, confidence can make you do “stupid” things. Use it with care.